She Said I Love You, Oh I Love You So
by izzabella11
Summary: When Rachel's heart is broken by a boy - again - how will she cope? Eventual Puckleberry.
1. Chapter 1

She would think, afterwards, that it did actually make sense. Everything else in her life was going to shit – why on earth would her relationship be any different? But all the rational thinking and self-belief in the world couldn't keep her stomach from twisting and her chest from aching when she thought back to it.

"_Rachel! You're…early…well, earlier than usual. Hey, we were going to grab some chips before practice, do you want to come?"_

_If the semi-hysterical note to Finn's voice hadn't tipped her off that something was wrong, then the sympathetic look on Quinn's face and the fact that she had never been invited for chips with anyone, let alone the new golden couple, did._

"_Thank you for the invite, Finn", she said brightly, ignoring the gnawing anxiety in the pit of her stomach, "I was going to go and set up the chairs."_

_The panicked looks didn't escape her and she frowned._

"_What's going on?"_

"_Nothing" said Finn too quickly, "Uh, there's a class in there still. Late finishing I guess."_

_Dear, sweet Finn. Sometimes (always) it'd be better if he shut up and let his smarter half do the talking, but on this occasion she had nothing to say, eyes fixed on a spot just above Rachel's head._

_Squaring her shoulders, she rounded Finn, ignoring his helpless groan, and pushed open the doors to the practice room. _

_Jesse sat there, his back to her, but it was him. No mistaking that hair. No mistaking the legs wrapped around his hips either, even if she hadn't been facing her. What was it with Santana, she wondered. On and off with Puck, relieving Finn of his virginity, and now sharing a deep kiss with Jesse. Either the girl, or the world, or both hated her._

_She felt Quinn move behind her and rest a hand on her shoulder._

"_I'm sorry" she whispered, and left. And Rachel Berry's world, again, crashed down around her shoulders._

If there was one thing Rachel had prided herself on, it was her indomitable spirit. She knew that it was poorly understood amongst her peers, but it set her in good stead for her future career and cultivating a thick skin had never been an issue for her. But this ignominy was just too much. Santana and Jesse were flaunting their relationship far more than was really appropriate, to the extent that even Mr Schue had looked baffled at their choice of duet in Glee (Whitney Houston, Santana, really? Just didn't have the voice for it)

The worst part was though, that she didn't even want to sing any more. She was happy to palm off solos to Mercedes, Tina, even Quinn. And the worst part? Nobody seemed to care, nobody missed her singing. She'd complained to Finn not so long ago that she was nothing without her voice. Now, even with it, she was still nothing.

So she gave up, and for the first time in her life acted like a normal teenager. It felt…surprisingly good. She lay in bed, glaring at the elliptical, until her father shouted that she would be late for school, and then slouched down the stairs in loose jeans and a black shirt, ignoring their pointed looks. She cut geography (GPA was important, but the subject? Sucked) and ate lunch on her own in the car park. And through it all, nobody noticed. Nobody commented. And despite the Glee club having her number, when she skipped her first ever rehearsal that evening, nobody contacted her.

They weren't better off without her – she would never fall so low as to think that. Her voice was phenomenal, after all. But her voice hadn't won her friends or popularity, hadn't allowed her to cling on to any of the guys she'd dated. So no, they weren't better off without her. But happier without her? Undoubtedly. She didn't torment herself by standing outside the doors and listening but she knew that she would have to face it soon. Soon she would have to explain her decision to Schue, and eventually she would have to watch the club performing in school assemblies and Regionals. Soon she would have to face her failure.

With this mindset, she almost jumped out of her skin when someone cleared their throat behind her one morning as she got her books out of her locker. It had been weeks since the last slushy but she didn't care. The patterns followed by the McKinley crowd were rarely foreseeable, predictable only in their viciousness. The thought that she would somehow escape the constant bullying just because she was keeping a lower profile was preposterous.

She turned, slowly, waiting for the familiar sting of ice and corn syrup but was met with neither, and inched her eyes open.

"I didn't mean to scare you" said Mike, chewing his lip awkwardly, "I just wondered if everything's okay. Haven't seen you in Glee for a while and it's not the same without you."

She blinked dumbly at him and he shrugged.

"Look, I know we've never really been friends. But what that jerk did was horrible and you didn't deserve it. So, I just wanted to say hi and that you should come back. Dancing with you to 'Give you hell' the other day rocked."

She blinked again, and tried to force her face into a smile.

"Uh, thanks Mike. That means a lot. But…I'm not coming back."

He frowned, looking like he was going to press the subject, but something on her face stopped him and he forced a smile.

"That sucks, but I guess I can understand. You know we want you back anytime you feel up to it though, right?"

Swallowing hard, she nodded, unable to muster anything other than a weak grin, and turned back to her locker before she began to cry. When she turned back, he'd gone and the corridor was empty. She shrugged her bag onto her shoulder and headed to her next class wondering if she'd just imagined the whole thing.

Mr Schuester was waiting for her at the end of Spanish. She lingered packing her back, refusing to meet his eye, until he moved to the back of the classroom when the last student had trailed out.

"It's not like you to sit this far back, Rachel" he commented lightly, drawing up a chair next to and swinging onto it backwards. "You haven't really been yourself this week."

She tipped her head forward, allowing her hair to cover her face, but she knew he heard her clearly.

"It turned out that people didn't really like 'myself'"

"Rach…"

"No," she said sharply, "It's okay. I get it. I just don't want to be around them."

"We need you" he said simply, "Regionals is in a week and we've got Jacob filling your space."

The chair scraped harshly as she stood up, pushing her shoulders back.

"You've done nothing but criticise me and my drive, give solos to other members of the group, use me as a teaching point and roll your eyes when I try to sing a fun song for once. I'm sorry, I know this club is a lot to you. But I'm sick of being treated like this and I'm just not enjoying it any more. Maybe you should have considered this when you threw your lot in with Finn, Mr Schue. You've never made a secret of your disdain for me, and that's fine. But you don't get to turn around and play the wholesome educator part, telling me my team needs me. They're not my team, Mr Schue. Find someone else to fill my shoes."

She sort of expected him to argue, roll his eyes or at the very least tell her that it wasn't appropriate to speak to a teacher in that tone (it wasn't, but he'd had it coming for a while), but he didn't. He just sat there, looking at the dusty floor with a lost expression on his face, and when she stood up and left he didn't look up.

The following day, it all began to kick off. She had barely stepped out of her car when strong arms grabbed her and bundled her roughly to the edge of the parking lot. She usually appreciated her petite frame, but on this occasion it left her unable to kick at her attacker (attackers? She was panicking and her hearing blurred). For a moment she thought she was going to be dropped on the floor; she whimpered, disorientated, and then shrieked outright as she sailed through the air and into the garbage.

It had always sounded a little ridiculous when she'd heard about it happening to Kurt, but she suddenly felt a strong wave of sympathy with the boy.

"Not under the protection of the Glee club now, freak" laughed one of the boys, flinging a slushy over the lip of the bin, "you're just trash!"

The sound of their laughing faded into the distance and, unable to motivate herself to move, she lay back in the rubbish, the slushy dripping down her top, and began to cry.

Puck was late for school. Not unusual for him, it had to be admitted; he could count the number of times he'd been on time on one hand. One amputated hand. He'd reflect afterwards that maybe that wasn't such a bad thing; if he'd been earlier he wouldn't have seen Karofsky and a few other goons high-fiving each other and walking away from the dumpster. Sighing, he decided to go and haul Kurt's ass out – it had been an unpleasant experience being on the receiving end and the least he could do was lend a hand.

As he walked closer, he heard soft sobs and winced. Crying girls were bad – crying boys? Not his thing. At all. But still, he was nearly there and…fuck it. He really did need to start making amends.

What he didn't expect as he leaned over the lip was to see Rachel Berry. What he also didn't expect was for her to be lying hopelessly in the trash with the contents of at least one slushy soaking into her hair. What he expected least was the softness with which he spoke.

"Oh shit, Berry. Who did this?"

She'd probably have jumped if she hadn't been lying down; her eyes flicked to him and she sat up at gracefully as anyone lying in a half-full dumpster could.

"I don't know" she said softly with a shrug, "does it matter?"

"Hell yes it matters" he growled, "You're one of us. This-" he gestured at her, "doesn't happen to us."

She was saying something softly under her breath but he ignored her, scooping her midget frame out of the dumpster.

"Lemme give you a lift back to yours, 'k?"

She hesitated, looking at her car, and he nodded encouragingly.

"Are you sure?"

"Wouldn't have asked if I wasn't, Berry. C'mon"

Sure, so he was going to miss Math. Possibility of seeing Berry naked in the shower? Totally worth it.

When Karofsky approached her the next day with a clearly broken nose, a grape slushy and a grovelling apology, things got way more complicated. She didn't know who it had been, but Puck wasn't the only Glee member to tilt his chin at her in the hallway with a hint of a smirk on his face. Sure, she knew they only wanted her back for her voice but…it was kind of nice to be wanted for anything.


	2. Chapter 2

***Guys, thank you so much for the kind reviews and the adds! I haven't written fanfiction for about 5 years so it's incredibly encouraging to hear positive feedback. I hope you like the rest of it!***

She was at Regionals. Why wouldn't she be? Tucked in a corner at the back, watching the first group perform and trying not to imagine what her ex-team-mates must be going through backstage. She smiled to herself at the memory of sectionals; the baby drama, the last minute changes, the overwhelming elation of performing, of drawing the crowd to their feet. The feeling of solidarity; even Santana had shot her a genuine smile during their performance.

She missed it so much it hurt sometimes; and other times she thought about the snide comments that Kurt and Mercedes used to make, the disinterest of the majority of the members, the way that Mr Schue had treated her and she didn't miss it one iota.

Pulling herself back to the present, she joined the applause less than enthusiastically as Vocal Adrenaline were announced. Interesting, she mused, that both groups were now minus their original lead singer. It would at least be an even playing field. As the music started, the performers raised their heads slowly.

"_Is it getting better? Or do you feel the same?_

_Will it make it easier on you_

_Now you have someone to blame…"_

She swallowed reflexively, feeling like she was about to throw up. Jesse was moving forward through the crowd of his choir, singing the song, oh the irony, that she and Finn had prepared for the competition before she had left. No Sue Sylvester this time; the spy had come from within, just as the other Glee clubbers had suspected. Jesse St James, at the last hour, had defected back to his club with their songs and their routines, and this was Rachel's fault, pure and simple.

She sat frozen in her chair, reliving the past as their songs and choreography were flawlessly copied. The audience were going wild, the energy from Vocal Adrenaline contagious. Her heart fluttered and her palms sweated, her body responding to her decision before she had even made it. There was only one outcome now.

When she stepped backstage, her heart clenched. Kurt was in tears, being comforted by Puck. Nobody could deny that Jesse had nailed 'Defying Gravity' and Kurt was no idiot. Mr Schue sat silently in the corner, his head in his hands. Mercedes stared blankly at the wall, nobody speaking.

None of them were dressed; their costumes lay forgotten in their trunks as they listened to the whoops and cheers announcing the end of Vocal Adrenaline's set.

"When did you find out?" she breathed, without even considering that they might not have seen her. Any reaction she got, she thought, would be deserved. Not only had she deserted them, but she had led the spy into their midst, made it so easy for him to manipulate them all. This was her mistake and she would face up to the consequences.

Santana was the first to speak, a good minute after Rachel had opened her mouth. The rest of the Glee club sat in silence, jaws hanging loose and eyes staring.

"The same time as you did" she said flatly, her eyes suspiciously red. She moved toward Rachel, who did her best to hide a flinch as they fell out of earshot of the rest of the group.

"Berry, I feel like this is my fault. I stole him and now I'm getting my punishment. Shit, I'm sorry, okay? But for once in my life I thought I had something special"

Her voice quavered and Rachel touched her hand uncertainly

"If it's any consolation, I feel like it's my fault as well. And while I'm not going to pretend I'm not angry with the situation, you got played as much as I did. So, no hard feelings."

Santana gave her a watery smile and moved to stand next to her, and Rachel took a deep breath.

"Guys, you're New Directions. Don't tell me something like a last minute crisis is going to knock you down? We've got through this before."

"That was different" spoke up Tina, "Before we had someone to bring the music. We don't have any ideas now."

"We don't have a star to step in" said Kurt flatly, raising an eyebrow.

Rachel sighed.

"Mercedes; don't tell me you don't have a new ballad you can belt on the fly?"

It was rhetorical but the black girl hung her head.

"It hasn't been the same since you left" she said, with obvious ill grace, "none of us have the competitive urges any more. If there's nobody for me to diva-off with, then why bother practicing?"

She'd never felt so close to anyone before, and couldn't help the smile that broke out over her face.

"Do you understand a little why I am how I am now, Mecedes?" she asked, keeping her tone as light as she could, "I live off competition. I just prefer competing with other clubs rather than with members of my own club. But it's the same thing."

Mr Schue stood up and crossed over to her, lifting his chin.

"You're right, Rachel. I owe you a big apology for the way I've treated you in the past. I've wanted the best of both worlds; success for the club and competition within it. I guess I haven't done it in the fairest of ways, and I am really sorry. Right now, we need you. I know you're mad at us; hell, I didn't even think you'd come to watch. But you're the best singer we have, you know the most about competitions and singing, and we have no chance without you."

"You probably have no chance with me either" she said bluntly. "Vocal Adrenaline blew the auditorium"

"Jesse St James blew the auditorium" said Finn, standing up and crossing the room, "and we know how karma works. A slim chance is better than no chance, right?"

He looked around the room, and slowly but surely people began to nod, determination spreading across their faces.

"Guys, we've done this before and that was without Mr Schue and with four of us not talking to each other."

Rachel lifted her water bottle, trying to ignore the lump in her throat.

"To destroying Jesse St James" she toasted, knocking back a mouthful. The resulting cheers of the dressing room almost drowned out the sound of the next act warming up.

Mr Schue kicked the whole group into gear after that. Rachel didn't ask for a solo; it was just assumed that she would take one, and the group descended into a chatter about which songs to do.

Timidly, she cleared her throat.

"Can I make a suggestion?"

Everyone looked at her and she played with her nails.

"I know I'm not really part of the group…"

"Bull" muttered someone to her left,

"…but it occurs to me that one thing we can do to stand out is a mashup. I'm thinking of the guys 'It's my life/Confessions' Mashup…if you can still remember it?"

"Hell yeah!" said Puck, surprising all of them, "that was awesome. Guys?"

The grin spreading over Finn's face answered for him; Mike and Matt exchanged jubilant high-fives and Artie positively bounced in his chair.

"Great!" exclaimed Mr Schue. "Then we have one number. We still need to have a full group number, a duet and a solo."

"The solo has to be Rachel" said Quinn, speaking up for the first time. "No question."

There was a general chorus of agreement and Rachel dipped her head shyly in a nod.

"Right. So, a group number and a duet. Come on guys – we need inspiration quickly."

"Pump it!" said Brittany, surprising everyone, "By the Black Eyed Peas. Come on guys, we messed around with it the other day, it's upbeat, great fun and we dance well to it."

"I'll take a dance solo in that if there's one going" offered Mike, to cheers from the rest of the team.

Finn beckoned Rachel closer and whispered in her ear for a moment before she beamed brightly and passed on the message to Mr Schue. His smile rivalled hers and he gave her and Finn high fives before turning to the rest of the group.

"Guys – we have our setlist!"

He would never admit it, but to Puck there wasn't much hotter than Rachel Berry preparing to go onstage. The difference in atmosphere since she'd come back into the room was electrifying; they'd gone from hopeless to psyched in the space of 5 minutes. She was their vitamin D, the glue that held them together, the strongest link in the chain. Singing? Just wasn't the same without her.

Now she sat in front of the mirror, Brittany and Santana fussing over her hair as she applied smokey eyeliner and lipgloss. Nobody knew what solo she was going to sing, or what duet her and Finn were performing, or even if they had practiced. But one thing was certain in Puck's mind; if they went down today it would be worth it to have Berry back onside.

If she was honest, she'd preferred her entrance for 'Rain on My Parade'. It had a wonderful je ne sais quois, appearing from the back of the hall. But that trick could really only be used once, and she didn't exactly have the time or provision for floating down from the ceiling (nationals, if they got there, she promised herself).

This time she was sat on a stool behind the curtain listening to the compere announcing them. She could almost feel the smugness emanating from Vocal Adrenaline, who she knew were sat on the front row and a wave of nerves engulfed her. She felt her hand tremble on the microphone, and took a deep breath.

The curtain raised and she opened her mouth, eyes still cast to the floor.

_Through wind and rain we got here_  
_Now we're flying babe with no fear_  
_We've been doing pain for so long_  
_When I stare in your eyes it's all gone_  
_Through wind and rain we burn bright_  
_Learn to fly through flames and hold tight_  
_With so many ways to go wrong_  
_But when I look in your eyes they're all gone_

The crowd were silent, held under the spell of her acoustic version. She had considered, and dismissed so many solos. This one tore at her heart still, and stripped down to just a piano and voice added impact (she hoped. No, she knew)

_And in my dreams it feels like we are forty storeys tall_  
_When you're around ooooh we're untouchable_  
_And in my dreams it feels like we aren't ever gonna fall_  
_We're safe and sound and we're untouchable_

_It's only real when you're not around_  
_I'm walking in the rain the sun goes down (oh, oh)_  
_And only love can save us now_  
_I need you hear again to show me how (oh, oh)_

_I know that love shouldn't be so hard_  
_And sometimes we're standing in the dark_  
_But you light up everywhere I go_  
_And I know a heart shouldn't beat so hard_  
_And sometimes we're swimming with the sharks_  
_But you light up and keep me out the cold_

_And in my dreams it feels like we are forty storeys tall_  
_When you're around ooooh we're untouchable_  
_And in my dreams it feels like we aren't ever gonna fall_  
_We're safe and sound and we're untouchable_

_It's only real when you're not around_  
_The candle in my head is burning out (oh, oh)_  
_I know that love shouldn't be so hard_  
_And sometimes we're standing in the dark_  
_But you light up everywhere I go_  
_And I know a heart shouldn't beat so hard_  
_And sometimes we're swimming with the sharks_  
_But you light up and keep me out the cold_  
_And in my dreams it feels like we are forty storeys tall_  
_When you're around ooooh we're untouchable_  
_And in my dreams it feels like we aren't ever gonna fall_  
_We're safe and sound and we're untouchable_

_Whenever you're gone, gone_  
_They wait at the door_  
_And everything's hurting like a bore_  
_Without any meaning_  
_We're just skin and bone_  
_Like beautiful robots dancing alone_

_Whenever you're gone, gone_  
_They wait at the door_  
_And everything's hurting like a bore_  
_Without any meaning_  
_We're just skin and bone_  
_Like beautiful robots dancing alone_

_And in my dreams it feels like we are forty storeys tall_  
_When you're around ooooh we're untouchable_  
_And in my dreams it feels like we aren't ever gonna fall_  
_We're safe and sound and we're untouchable._

She rested her microphone on the stand, standing, and finally allowed herself to meet the eyes of the two people she didn't want to see. Jesse St James and Shelby Corcoran. Dimly aware of the applause and the movement of the group joining her behind, she met their eyes one by one until they looked away, before she moved to the back of the stage.

Score one to New Directions.

The rest of their set list went down just as well, especially the boys' performance which had several of the ladies in the audience fanning themselves. Vocal Adrenaline looked furious, confused and disappointed in equal measure. Jesse had left somewhere between performances; Rachel didn't care. He couldn't sabotage them now.

"Ladies and gentleman" began Finn, and she jerked back to awareness, "We have one final duet to perform for you and we hope you enjoy it. Thanks for your support this evening!"

He held out a hand to her and spun her out across the stage where she froze, face turned to the floor as the music began.

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone" sang Finn in his gravelly voice, and she wondered why they hadn't ever thought of singing this before. "It's not warm when she's away. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone and she's always gone too long, anytime she goes away."

As she joined in with him, their voices merging, she wondered how on earth she had lived without this.

_"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, and this house just ain't no home, any time she goes away. _

_Anytime she goes away._

_ Anytime she goes away. _

_Anytime she goes away…"_

As the music faded out, the rest of the group stepped from the shadows, Quinn taking Finn's hand, Puck Rachel's, and the rest of the members joining until they stood in a long line, heads down but unable to hide the huge grins on their face as the audience whooped, hollered and most importantly got to their feet.


	3. Chapter 3

Chattering excitedly, the Glee club boarded the school bus. There was talk of an afterparty at Santana's, of practice for Nationals, of long summer days spent out and road trips to be planned. Smiling indulgently, Mr Schue did a brief headcount, frowned, and counted again.

"Settle down guys, we're one short" he said, and, still giggling, they subsided.

"It's Rachel" said Puck, the first he'd spoken since they came off stage, "she's not here."

Everyone turned to face him and he scowled,

"What? I didn't do anything to her. Just sayin'. I'd have thought after she bailed your asses out at least one of you might have thought to check if she was around."

The smiles and muted chatter disappeared and were replaced with hung heads and shifty eyes. Mr Schue frowned at them, disappointed, and looked at Puck.

"Would you mind?"

Puck rolled his eyes, but hauled himself to his feet nonetheless.

"If we're not back in 10, assume she annoyed me and I killed her. I'll be burying her midget ass under the stage" he grumbled under his breath, and Schue pretended not to hear him.

There was silence after the bus door closed until Santana spoke up.

"Ok, when Puck of all people is the nice one out of us, we have serious issues. I can't believe I'm saying this but…man-hands swallowed her pride and gave us a second chance. We couldn't have competed without her today, let alone won, and she hasn't gloated or held it over us. So the way I see it," she fixed each member with a piercing stare until they visibly quailed, "The least we can do is to give her a second chance. Have you considered that maybe the chance she's so damn _freaky_ is because nobody's hung around with her long enough to show her that she's the exception? All she has for company is her two gay dads – yes, Mr Schuester, and that's fine with all of us – but she doesn't have much female company. So, I'll be inviting her to my party tonight, and if any of you have a problem with that then you're welcome not to come. I'll be inviting her to the Mall with Brittany and I, and I'll be inviting her to sit with us at lunchtime. And any of you who have a problem with that? I'll be first in line to remind you how we won Regionals and I'll be first in line to ruin the rest of your high school career. Got it?"

There was a terrified silence; even Kurt and Mercedes sat slack jawed and red faced.

"Oh, and I'm in a relationship with Brittany. Don't give me dirty looks when I talk about gay couples, Mr Schue."

That, at least, was enough to start the whispering again.

She was sat on a box in the stage wings when he found her, and she didn't look up as he crossed the room. He had a variety of lines stored up, all of them to the point and none of them friendly. But seeing her sat there in silent contemplation of the floor with what looked suspiciously like tear-stains on her cheeks chased the words from his tongue and he crouched on the floor in front of her instead.

"You ok there?"

She nodded without meeting his eyes and he touched his fingertips to her chin, tipping her face upwards. Her eyes were red and swollen and her mascara had streaked down her face.

"It's fine, Puck" she said dully, "I guess Mr Schue sent you to collect me? I drove here; I'll drive back."

He furrowed his brow and looked at her.

"Well, that makes sense I guess. But now you've got me worried. What's up?"

She laughed mirthlessly and shook her head.

"Nothing you'd understand"

"What, being a social outcast? Being judged on one act or aspect of your personality? Being excluded by your peers? Yeah, Berry, you're right. No way I'd understand that."

Her eyes softened.

"I'm sorry. That was unfair. I'm just sick of being so unpopular, you know? I'm trying to learn how to get on with people and be normal but…I don't get it. I don't know how."

Her voice quavered and he felt an unexpected pang of sympathy.

"I get that Berry, I do. But you can't give up, otherwise you'll never get there. Way I see it is, you've got two choices. You can change yourself and try to fit in more and hope that that brings you the happiness you're missing, or you can do what you've been doing the last few years and be strong and independent and your own person. Don't see either of those as such bad options to be honest."

It was probably the most she'd heard him say since she knew him, and definitely the most meaningful. She trapped his hand where it rested on her chin with hers and looked him square in the eye.

"I know you don't have such an easy choice, Noah. But if you get to be brutally honest with me, then I will with you. You have to respect Quinn's wishes, you have to back off. She's made her decision and she's sticking with it. It's her body, Noah. If it was the other way around and she wanted to keep it and you wanted to get rid of it, you wouldn't try and force your opinion on her then, right?"

He nodded wordlessly, still looking at her,

"You can't support a baby at the moment; if she gives it to a couple who really want a child, together, it will have a better life. You can get an open adoption, stay in contact, get updates if you want. And if one day that child wants to get in contact with you, I know you'll be more than willing. But Noah, surely you of all people know how difficult it can be growing up with only one parent?"

His eyes dropped and he pulled his hand away.

"You coming to Santana's party tonight, Berry?"

The silence stretched for a few moments, both of them knowing the unspoken question behind the innocuous one. Are you going to make some effort, Berry?

"I'll be there" she said softly, and he smiled tiredly. Standing, he held out his hand, a scrap of paper scrunched up in his palm. Rachel took it uncertainly, unfolding it to see a mobile number hastily scrawled in what looked like eyeliner. When she looked up, he was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Rachel sat at her vanity looking desolate. She had nothing to wear – she thought – she didn't know what people did wear to these parties. She had nobody to go with and no idea of how to behave, but she couldn't bail out after the silent deal she'd made with Puck that evening. She had nobody to call and ask for advice and she only had an hour to get ready and get there.

Well, she could call Puck. She discarded that idea as soon as it came to mind. Sure, he'd lightened up, but she could only see two outcomes of asking him what to wear, and both of them involved expletives and negative comparisons to Kurt.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door of her closet and closed her eyes as she tried to remember the more constructive of the insults she'd had thrown at her over the years.

Animal jumpers. Yeah, she could see that, actually. They were cute – maybe one to keep for when she was at home on her own. No more animal clothes then.

An armful of clothes hit the ground and she turned back to the closet, setting her jaw.

Knee socks? Oh, she loved them. They emphasised her undeniably long and slender legs. Did anyone else in the school wear them? No. Out they went.

She looked at her watch and gasped, turning back. No time for this now. She'd go for the underdressed side of the line and take it as it came.

The jeans she'd worn for 'Somebody to Love' were the only pair she had but she figured they'd do for tonight. She tugged on a white vest, not caring that the black straps of her bra showed through, clasped a silver chain around her neck, slipped on a pair of flip flops and sat down.

She looked…different. Her hair was longer and straighter than usual after she'd straightened it for the performance and the remnants of eyeliner hung around her lids, giving them a smoky look. She looked older. She looked average. She looked…

She could get used to this.

She could.

It wasn't the coolest party Puck had ever been to. Not even close. There was next to no booze for a start, because Finn wouldn't let anyone give Kurt a sniff of alcohol in case he jumped him, Artie's dad would be picking him up so he couldn't drink, Tina and Mercedes wouldn't drink if their boys couldn't and…well, it was no fun for only half the group to be drinking. On the other hand, he had a strong suspicion that when the Glee kids (the original ones, that is) went home, it might lighten up a bit.

The doorbell went again and Mike, who was nearest the door, hauled himself to his feet to get it. Puck heard a whoop and then a few moments of silence and was just about to investigate when Mike came through, a crate of beer in one hand and a seriously hot midget in the other.

Damn, but she cleaned up good. She was wearing fitted jeans and a tight vest which showed off her dancers body and tan, minimal make up and…well, carrying a crate of beer. It didn't get much hotter than that if you had a dick and a pulse.

"Hey guys" she said shyly, "I know some of you won't be drinking," her eyes subconsciously flitted to Quinn, who was leaning against Finn's knees with her hand over her swollen stomach, "but I thought maybe some of you would."

"Hell yeah!" yelled Matt, holding out his hand for a high-five. To her credit she only hesitated for a split second before returning it with a wide grin. Puck shifted over on the sofa for her to sit down and nudged her with his elbow as she tucked in.

"You made it then?"

She smiled up at him, her eyes all smoky and seductive.

"Yeah" she said, calmly, and he wasn't sure he'd ever heard her use a slang word in his life, but fair play.

"Beer?"

"Are you offering me one or asking me to bring you one?" she asked deadpan, and Kurt turned to stare at her with wide eyes.

"Both" he said with a shrug and she stuck her tongue out at him as she got up. When she came back with two open beers? He wasn't going to lie, he was pretty stunned. They clinked bottles, took a gulp, and she let out a shriek, gagging.

"Oh my goodness…that is vile!"

The guys laughed good naturedly and to his surprise it was Brittany who handed her a glass of juice.

"I hate beer too" she said, "but it's the only thing to drink at these parties"

"Britt, we have wine coolers" said Mike with a grin, and she frowned.

"I thought wine coolers were those things you put wine in to chill?"

There was a moment of silence as Artie opened his mouth to make a retort, caught Santana's baleful eye and closed his mouth with an audible click.

Several hours later it was just Santana, Brittant, Matt, Mike and Puck left. And Rachel. Damn, it felt weird to include her in that sentence, but here she was, sat upright on the sofa admittedly, and refusing to touch the beer, but doing a surprisingly decent job of kicking their asses at Mario Karts. And don't think he hadn't noticed the way Mike was eyeing her. Not like he cared or anything.

She laughed delightedly as she won the final lap, and did an astonishingly accurate impression of Yoshi before stretching out, ignoring the way the guys' eyes gravitated towards her.

"I should probably head" she said, "I had a great evening. Thanks for inviting me."

Brittany smiled at her

"It was great that you could come, Rach. See you tomorrow?"

"Um…it's the weekend tomorrow…"

"Yeah. We were going to go to the mall, get some food, get our nails done" interjected Santana "You should come with us."

Rachel wasn't quite quick enough to hide the look of uncertainty that flickered across her face and Puck knew what she was thinking. Would they tease her, criticise her? Would they even turn up? Sure, he knew it'd be fine, but he'd heard about Santana's motivational speech from Finn. No wonder Berry looked freaked.

Credit to her though, she went with it.

"That sounds great. What sort of time?"

"Ooh, give me your number" said Brittany, "I'll give you a ring when we're leaving in the morning"

Rachel visibly relaxed and keyed her number into the blonde's phone as Santana looked on, her expression unreadable.

Puck tried not to notice as Mike walked Rachel out, feeling suddenly as though this was happening too fast. A twist of unease pulled at his gut, but he couldn't figure it out. Frowning, he took another pull of his beer and reset the game, deciding to mull it over more the next day.


End file.
